The fear - case studies

Example 1: Claudiu has an exam next day. He didn’t have time to learn everything, so he started to feel the fear of not passing the exam.
1. The state felt was of anxiety, agitation, and trouble specific to the state of fear.
2. The circumstances are those mentioned above.
3. In those moments (when he felt that state specific to the fear), he had some judgments like:

“I should always pass my exams (no matter of the circumstances).”

Obviously, from one reason or another (dependent or independent of our will) there’s always the possibility of not passing some exams. To expect the contrary is an absurd expectation.
But we have to be cautious and learn as much as possible. In the case of the failure, we’ll learn again and much better and finally, in one way or another, we’ll pass these exams (most of the exams can be given of many times).
No matter of the “exam”, the possibility of a failure always exists.

If this really happens, we’ll adapt to it and we’ll learn over and over again until we succeed.

“All the other people (parents, colleagues, etc.) should always appreciate me and treat me with understanding.”
We all know that, from different reasons dependent or independent by them, some people can’t or don’t want to help us. To expect the contrary is an absurd (false) expectation.
No matter of the other ones’ reaction, if we really want to keep the harmony, we have to perform some actions for this and thus, to avoid to maintain in our psyche some specific psychical sufferings sent by the Supra-conscious.

“We always should be asked about or put to solve only those problems we can solve.”
“I should always pass an exam even if I don’t go to it.”
This is a false expectation which consists in expecting to win without going to it (in one way or another); this thing is obviously impossible.
The resistances can be passed over only through a determined confrontation with them and through their “conquering” one by one.
To expect not to meet resistances in all we want to do, or to be always over passed by the other ones instead of us, is obviously an absurd expectation.

Example 2: Ema had with her new boyfriend an unprotected sexual act; after it, she was afraid of the possibility of a pregnancy.
1. The state felt was of psychical suffering specific to the fear.
2. The circumstances were those previously described.
3. In those moments (when the signal of fear manifested in her psyche) she had judgments like:
“What if I am pregnant? I shouldn’t have done what I did…What I’m going to do? How I will raise the child? Which will be my parent’s reaction? My parents won’t understand me…Which will be his reaction? (of his boyfriend).”
4. The wrong judgments implied by those mentioned above are specific to the fear of the consequences of her own facts” and they are characterized by false expectations like:
- “We should be able to change what we did in the past.”
This is a false expectation specific to the regret.
Obviously the past can’t be changed, but we can learn from its mistakes and not to do them again.

- “Our actions should never have any repercussion on us.”

But for our wrong actions, there will always exist some repercussions bigger or smaller, of one way or another) which will appear sooner or later. To expect the contrary is an absurd expectation.

That’s why, it’s important to learn something from our own mistakes and of the other ones, too and not to make them again; it’s also necessary to be very careful at everything we do in order not to perform some wrong actions anymore (actions more or less against the system’s harmony).

- “All the other people should always appreciate and understand me, etc.”
Eliminating these false expectations from the psyche, we accept the new created situation as it is, we analyze it carefully and adapt to it as efficiently as possible; the purpose for all these is not to repeat anymore such situations which could have been avoided.

Example 3: Alex was invited to make a speech at a festivity.
A few minutes before his speech, he felt in himself a state of fear, of increasing emotion and he thought that he won’t be able to make that speech. Finally, he managed to pass over that emotion and during the speech it disappeared completely.
1. The state felt was of increased agitation and anxiety specific to the fear (“the emotionalism”).
2. The circumstances were those mentioned above.
3. In those moments he had judgments like:
“I won’t be able to speak in front of so many people…But what if I won’t say the right things? What if I’ll say something wrong because of the emotion?”
4. The wrong judgment implied by those mentioned above and pointed out by the state of “emotionalism” (a form of manifestation of the state of fear) are:
“All those people who listen to me should always like what I say.”
“I should never be in trouble in what I say (not even for a few seconds).”

These are obvious false expectations and we won’t insist anymore upon them.