The laziness - case studies

Example 1: For a period of time, Caesar has some feelings for one of his colleague from the University, but he doesn’t dare to invite her downtown to know each other better. In all this period, in his psyche appeared and manifested a signal of psychical suffering specific to the indecision.
1. The state felt was that characteristic to the indecision (to the hesitation, uncertainty, anxiety, stress, etc.).
2. The circumstances were those mentioned above.
3. The judgments from the Caesar’s psyche – when he felt the state of psychical suffering specific to the indecision – were:
“It would be so good if, somehow, we came closer to each other.”
“Will she refuse me if I will invite her somewhere?”
“What I will do if she refuses me? I better don’t invite her and wait.”
4. The wrong judgments implied by those mentioned above are some false expectations like:
- “You should never do anything special in order to get near of someone; you should let the things to happen from themselves.”
- “My requests (invitations) should never be refused.”
But from different reasons, dependent or independent by us, our requests are refused. To expect the contrary is something obviously absurd.
- “You should always become friend with whom you want, without being necessary to do something special for this.”
The things never happen by themselves. There are always some resistances –bigger or smaller- which can be removed and others which can’t be.

After a discussion with a friend, Caesar realized that he has nothing to lose if he tries to get closer to that girl, except the unpleasant sensation specific to the indecision (which has tortured him for a long period of time).

Besides, if the girl refuses him, he’ll be able to look for other girls, without wasting his time “knocking at close doors”.
So, the next day, he tried politely to invite her downtown, but she refuses him (from reasons independent of him).
However, Caesar could realize how the sensation of indecision disappeared immediately, as a consequence of his action.

Then he has continued to “knock at other doors” without that kind of hesitation he had before; and soon he found out what he was looking for.

Example 2: Gabriel felt a state of apathy, revolt and desertion after he had tried, for a period of time, to get some support from different people, for one of his project. But he didn’t manage and was on the point to give up at it.
1. The state felt was that described above.
2. The circumstances were those mentioned before.
3. In those moments (when he felt that state of apathy, desertion, revolt, etc.) in his psyche there were some judgments like:
“I don’t want to do anything. Everything is against me. Nobody wants to help me…”

4. The wrong judgments implied by those mentioned above are:
“I should always be helped by all the other in all that I do.”
Obviously, from different reasons, some people can’t or don’t want to help us in our projects. To expect the contrary means to sustain in ourselves some absurd expectations.

“I should never be faced with any kind of resistances in all that I want to do.”
Obviously, in all that we do we are faced with bigger or smaller resistances. To expect the contrary, means to keep in us some false expectations.
But if we expect at the apparition of some resistances in everything we do, we can analyze them more objectively, we can eliminate them one by one and, in the end, to reach the aimed purposes.

Gabriel understood that the resistances inevitably appear and he kept going with the achievement of his project (not letting to manifest in himself the false expectations specific to the resistances’ ignoring). Finally, he managed to accomplish his project and was glad that he didn’t stop when he intended to.

Example 3: At a social meeting, Maria suddenly felt a state of apathy, boredom. So, she became silent, avoiding to communicate with the others; she was almost about to leave the meeting.
Before that state, she took part at an uninteresting and unattractive discussion (there weren’t discussed interesting things for her).
1. The state felt was that mentioned above.
2. The circumstances were already mentioned.
3. In those moments when she felt the state of apathy, boredom, desertion, in her psyche there were judgments like:
“What a boring meeting; these people discuss such uninteresting subjects with no value.”
“Certainly, I can’t discuss anything with these boring and common people…”

4. Behind these judgments, there are hidden some wrong ones like:
- “People should always have the initiative to discuss only the subjects which interest me.”
For a communication (discussion) to satisfy our need of communication, we must involve in it, we must communicate our own values (information) and listen to the other people and thus, to have an open and sincere discussion based on them (in order to establish the utility of the each appeared information and to take it into consideration in our future actions).
- “The other partners of discussion should always be the one who start the discussion with me; and besides that, to know more than I do about the things which interest me, in order to find more from them.”

Observation: When we notice that the other ones know less than we do about the discussed subject, it’s our interest (in order to assure the system’s harmony) to help them to improve their knowledge in that field.

It’s a false expectation to think that the social system can function at its optimum parameters in the conditions in which we don’t try to help the others (as much as we can) in order to understand better the system’s mechanisms of running (and thus to be able to obey and strengthen them).